Disappointment

Had a rough week personally. Things didn’t go the way I wanted them to at work- specifically, the challenges I faced were not of a sharable nature, requiring me to literally lie in response to the question “how’s everything going” several times, and I really feel terrible about myself when I’m not truthful. My spouse was out of town, which meant a doubling of responsibility of course (sharing is caring), and then the universe also picked this moment for one of the pets and one of the kids to have health challenges. I didn’t get into a show (that apparently I was more emotionally invested in than I realized) and I found out another one I was certain was happening and had been making work for had been axed. And, I had set aside a (beautiful fall afternoon when I’d rather have been playing basketball and drinking beer with friends) to gallery sit, as a forcing mechanism to get some art admin done, and didn’t get everything (OK, *anything*) on my to-do list do’ed.

When we say we are disappointed what we are communicating is that we had expectations that weren’t met. That’s a totally normal feeling to have. There’s another step to take there, I think, which is examining why you feel this negative emotion. In addition to the help that Nonviolent Communication has given me in this area (below), I’ve been using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy of late. I’ve also been getting a lot of use and benefit from the mantra “I never lose, I only win or learn” (attributed to Nelson Mandela).

The show I didn’t get into? Yes it’s not a great feeling. When I chose to reflect on why I was disappointed I not only had some helpful clarity, I was able to share this with another artist who I had not yet had a 1-1 conversation with, and I learned more about them, too, as a result. Not winning, *and*, learning? Check!

Didn’t get everything on my to-do list done? When I chose to reflect on why I was beating myself up, I *learned* that I had underestimated what would be involved in a couple of the tasks, which will help me with setting goals in the future. And I did get several of the tasks started* which is moving towards the goals. Plus, a couple of the things that distracted me were items on my 3-month goals checklist. I also knocked one off this Friday, which was to hang work at the Carter Building in my friend Tom’s studio. It also helped that I went to an engaging workshop/discussion on the many paths to a rewarding practice which also centered my thoughts on my awesome arts community. And as regards my disappointment around the two shows that aren’t going to happen for me, one led to me experimenting with the work that got rejected for the first time in probably 8 months, and getting more time to work on the piece in the lower right- bladow!